What is an E/N site? A miserable little pile of secrets
Posted by grimace on 09/29/2009 @ 08:23 PM
Yeah that’s right, we back. You wanna make somethin of it? Sorry for the extended break, but I got my hand stuck in a vending machine. Since my last post we’ve fought two wars – three if you count the War on Christmas – and I’ve moved eight times, had sex with at least one girl, three pillows, and one Charmander Halloween costume. There may or may not have been someone in it. The sergeant’s handwriting is fuzzy. Also about three other guys owned this domain, I’m assuming they died, are being held captive in an underground bunker, or lost interest in zombie related material.
So, internet, we need to talk. Not only did you kill off our genre, but there’s too much rampant use of the word “douche” since we last spoke, and that shit has to cease. Next time you want to insult someone, try “knob goblin”, or the classic “homo”. An example sentence: “I wonder what happened to that knob gobblin’ homo Jon Bence.” Mix it up, get dangerous. The web is a new place where art fags in black turtlenecks and girl jeans roam free. We have to stay alert to protect ourselves. Otherwise one day you wake up, Patrick Swayze is dead, and content gumball machines are all that’s left of the personal website generation.
I too want it to be 9/12/2001 again. Gas should be 7 dollars a gallon, rednecks should support the president no matter what, and no one knows who the hell Glenn Beck is. Count it! Plus, I’d be posting on ZAMB. Oh shit! We’re 1 for 4. Let’s face it, “let’s face it” is a horrible phrase, and no one should use it. In addition, we know where we’re at. We’ve ran out of food, and now the blonde guy is looking mighty tasty. It’s time to rev up the SUV and get the hell out of this mall. E/N is back, and it’s grumpy. Let’s get to work. Somebody get Solosier on the line. I have a five bedroom house, and it ain’t gonna live in itself. Oh, right, he died in a car wreck.
Hopefully.
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